linus

Life has moved on, websites and blogs so fairly and forever loved now have been swept away by the tides of change. Looking back at the times when I started blogging, which was 2004, a good 7 years ago, it was all EMO and highschool-y shit. But i loved every word,pixel and bit of it. I was sharing it not only to the world, but at the same time all my other EMO highschool-y friends. Those friends that you'd log on just to know what the hell they are up to. A simple blog roll in the past, much like tumblr, but much more personal.

And, like time and the years, they have gone by and disappeared, some of them i never really knew, and some i regret not being able to stay in touch, and some i hang on to for dear life. Im sorry i couldnt remember all your blogs or maybe even your names, but you will forever remain in my memories and in my heart of hearts.

Change only seems to affect you as deep as you want it to, but it has to be a conscious effort to hold these memories close to you, to constantly remember them fondly and with a smile. And though i can't share with you or with me, these memories right now in word, i will do my best to remind the world, that friends have passed by.

ai3cuevas

nil0i

birador

cam

pao

aya

gab

cort

prado

char

 and some others i have never met

the girl who liked machiavelli's the prince

end of emo highschooly memory filled entry

linus

Finally, finally.

I love it.

linus

i probably and shouldnt be spending so much time thinking about it but it just seems to be the only course of action with you in the picture. i can't help but think why or what or how it happened, but somehow tonight is just one those nights. one of those nights being the nights that i really cant figure you out. the nights i end up telling other guys to be prepared for, but no matter how prepared you are, you really aren't prepared enough. it seems to hit you like a truck. that one moment in a day, or if you really are unlucky, that whole day where in you seem lost to me. or from your eyes i seem to be lost to you. maybe i did something wrong, maybe i never even did anything wrong. and yeah i know thinking makes it worse. but i cant not think if it is like this.

i know i should just last this out. maybe, hopefully tomorrow will be the same as today. that tonight is just a simple ripple in time and space, that time when you fly of to another dimension, or i think you flew off.

but then realize that you were never gone. it was just i who thought so. see thinking is bad. i should stop now. too much thinking will make it feel like as if something is really wrong, when there is none really. so there. i will stop.

but then here i am at the brink of the night, waiting for that dreaded. "ok bye", that acknowledgment that seems to be harder to swallow than not talking to me at all. at least for the latter i know you are angry or just sleeping. but with that ok bye, my mind goes into over drive, not stoping for anything and then it starts. thoughts that everything is wrong and nothing is alright.

see, a simple thought transforms everything, it destroys a night and stifles my dreams of waking up to a great morning with you. so i should really stop thinking and just do.

us is something i would like to remain us.

linus

from lmp

time fly by so fast and in stages that we dont really notice the transition. making new friends, leaving old ones. forging new memories and forgetting old ones. and it is just hard to take it all in but you cant stop, not at the moment. so you trudge on, with new adventures, begrudgingly or with a smile on your face you trudge on. one foot in front of the other. continuing on and most of the time you dont get the chance to look back. to see the foot prints in the sand, to be slowly washed away by the ebb and flow of time.

we slowly let go of old friends, making new ones but losing others in the process. and once you get the time to stop and reflect, to look back from your shoulder, to see the trail of fragile seasons that has passed you by, you see nothing.

but there is that faint hint of sadness, a tinge of pain reminding you that there was something there. something you let go, you hear a whisper, a sliver of melody of what was past.

and you finally realize, where has the time gone, where are my old friends, what have i done to forget them, for them to forget me. but still you need to look forward, trudging on.

but you look beside you, and they have been there all along. living life as you, its just that you chose not to talk to them, not to see. you never could find something that you were not looking for.