linus

i probably and shouldnt be spending so much time thinking about it but it just seems to be the only course of action with you in the picture. i can't help but think why or what or how it happened, but somehow tonight is just one those nights. one of those nights being the nights that i really cant figure you out. the nights i end up telling other guys to be prepared for, but no matter how prepared you are, you really aren't prepared enough. it seems to hit you like a truck. that one moment in a day, or if you really are unlucky, that whole day where in you seem lost to me. or from your eyes i seem to be lost to you. maybe i did something wrong, maybe i never even did anything wrong. and yeah i know thinking makes it worse. but i cant not think if it is like this.

i know i should just last this out. maybe, hopefully tomorrow will be the same as today. that tonight is just a simple ripple in time and space, that time when you fly of to another dimension, or i think you flew off.

but then realize that you were never gone. it was just i who thought so. see thinking is bad. i should stop now. too much thinking will make it feel like as if something is really wrong, when there is none really. so there. i will stop.

but then here i am at the brink of the night, waiting for that dreaded. "ok bye", that acknowledgment that seems to be harder to swallow than not talking to me at all. at least for the latter i know you are angry or just sleeping. but with that ok bye, my mind goes into over drive, not stoping for anything and then it starts. thoughts that everything is wrong and nothing is alright.

see, a simple thought transforms everything, it destroys a night and stifles my dreams of waking up to a great morning with you. so i should really stop thinking and just do.

us is something i would like to remain us.